I’ve attended a number of funerals and memorials in my five decades on Earth. However, the memorial I went to a couple of weeks ago hit differently. The service was for a young man who served his country in the United States Army as a member of the 309th Engineer Company in Brainerd, MN. He was an Eagle Scout, loved the outdoors, and spent countless hours hunting and fishing. This young man was also a roommate of my son in a house near Milaca, MN. His name was Jacob Daniel Steiner, and he passed away at the young age of 27 on Friday, August 22nd, by suicide.
I only met Jacob, or “Jake,” once a few years ago when my wife and I visited my son to check out the house. It was a quaint place, but plenty of room for three guys and a couple of dogs. Jake was outgoing and polite when I shook his hand and made his acquaintance. The three young men bantered back and forth and laughed. He seemed like a good guy, and I appreciated his military service.
The memorial service was held at the Monticello, MN Legion Post 260. I went with my son Ben, who was friends with Jake. This was one of the first times Ben had experienced loss as an adult. He said he didn’t know Jake was struggling. There didn’t seem to be any outward signs the last time Ben saw him. It was a shock to all who knew him.
That’s the thing with people suffering from PTSD or mental stress—they don’t always present with the outward signs we think of when it comes to depression, or as my grandmother used to say, “feeling blue.” Sometimes the gut-wrenching pain someone is dealing with is masked by a smile. I didn’t serve in the military or get deployed overseas. I haven’t experienced the things those men and women have, and I don’t pretend that I do. However, I do understand emotional and mental pain. I’ve been the shoulder to cry on or the listening ear when someone just needs to get things off their chest. I know the pain is real. I also know there are many people willing to help.
If you are struggling, please reach out to someone. You can dial 988 on your phone to be connected to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. There are also organizations like Hometown Hero Outdoors that have members trained in ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training). Check on those in your circle to make sure they’re okay. Be the shoulder or the listening ear. I wish we had known Jake was hurting. Rest in peace, soldier.
About the Author
Phil Ewert is the Content Development Coordinator for Hometown Hero Outdoors. He is the podcast producer and provides voiceover and media production for the organization.
